While others send their kids off to camp or play dates and parties we spend our days in therapy and the backyard. Autism doesn’t know what summer vacation is unfortunately and doesn’t take weekends off. Mr. Timothy continues to do “well” on his medication. That means the slight improvements in his aggression and behaviour are steadily holding at slight. His struggles in the car continue and unfortunately that sometimes means some whacks for me, his Dad or his sisters. He does settle a little quicker. We are searching for a five point car seat that can contain him a little better.
We frequently remind his sisters that although he hurts them, that does not mean he doesn’t love them. Its a hard balance and tough for them to understand. However their love is unconditional and they accept him as their brother regardless of his differences.
I loathe autism sometimes. I hate how it has separated my son from us. It is not a gift despite what I read sometimes. It is harder than anything we have faced, relentless and hurtful. It is a struggle. It means diapers, still; at 6 years old. It means no baseball with Daddy. It means no birthday parties, play dates or summer camps. It means my child is stuck in a body he sometimes cannot control; feelings he cannot express, words he cannot say. It means that we, as parents, must give up our selfish thoughts of the son we thought we wanted. It means unconditional love.
However, he continues to amaze and fascinate us on a daily basis with bursts of astuity and coherence. I hope one day to know what he sees and feels. How he is fascinated with water. I wonder what he sees when he looks at it. I wonder if he feels lonely?
Its a lifelong mission, you know. To connect with him. We won’t give up. Not ever.
To find joy in every day is our summer goal (or mine-although this blog is not mine, its his- I’m just the scribe).
Since we have Thursdays off from therapy/school, we have taken to the sprinkler for relief from the heat. Timothy loves water and pushing his “coupe” into the sprinkler. The kids have discovered a soft area in our backyard that quickly fills with mud. They create potions and Timothy pours the mud down his chest, which he really seems to like! Ewwwww!
Here are some pictures of successes below……….